In order for anger management to be effective, you must gain control over your anger. Trying to get rid of your anger is worthless, and the reason for this is because anger is a normal emotion, just like happiness or sadness; it is something you will experience many times throughout the course of your life.
The best approach to anger management is one which is balanced. You will not only need to control the emotions you feel when you become angry, but you will also need to express this emotion in a manner which is healthy.
One anger management technique is called "the direct method." With the direct method, you do not want to beat around the bush. You will want to use body language to show others you are not happy with them.
The direct method is excellent for those who suffer from passive anger. People who have passive anger tend to harbor angry feelings within, and will resort to doing manipulative things in order to showcase this anger. By making it clear to others that they are not happy with the situation, it will be better for both parties, so long as it is done in a constructive manner.
The second type of technique for managing anger is called the "honorable method." With this method, once you are angry at someone, you make it clear that your anger is backed up by moral and rational arguments. Instead of being manipulative, you logically explain what is bothering you.
When you are angry, the most important thing you can do is remain calm. Always maintain an "even" tone of voice at all times. If you speak to people calmly, even when you are not happy with them, they will be much more likely to listen to you. But the moment you raise your voice, in most cases you will cause a defensive reaction in the other individual, and this will get you nowhere. When you state your case, never bring up anything which is not relevant to the situation, always keep your statements and arguments focused. Of all the techniques mentioned so far, two of the most important are to forgive and to listen.
Forgive and Listen
When many people become angry, their minds shut down. There will be many cases were they are unwilling to listen to what the other side is saying. This is always a mistake. Not listening to the other side when you are angry is like throwing fuel on a fire, it will only make things worse.
One reason why it is important to listen to the other side while you are angry is because there is a possibility that you may be overreacting, that the problem lies more with you than the person you are angry with. Many times throughout your life, people will inadvertently make you mad; they will do so without even realizing it. When you confront these people, it is important to listen to what they have to say, because you may find out that it was a total misunderstanding.
However, not listening to what they have to say will only make them defensive, and the situation will escalate. The second thing that it is important is to forgive. When many people become angry at others, they hold a grudge, and some hold this grudge for a long time.
The problem with this is that holding grudges is not healthy for you, and it will not improve your relationships with others. People are imperfect, and they "will" make mistakes. This includes you as well. It is best to forgive when a mistake is made, as it will make things better for the long run. An additional technique that is found with many anger management programs is called assertive communication.
Assertive Communication
Assertive communication for anger management stems from the idea that it is a lack of communication that often causes conflict and anger among two parties. Through the usage of assertive communication, an individual can express themselves in a manner that does not offend others, but which allows them to get their point across at the same time.
